Ring of No Other-2

Ring of No Other

Author: Aurorita248
Rated: T
Notes: Slight slash (the usual pairings)
Summary: Just when the Beatles can rest and relax, Ringo's now stuck with a sacrificial ring on his finger. With Eastern cultists on their tail, the Beatles are going to have to thrown down the chips and break all hell loose to make sure they FINALLY get a break.
Note: This is part of the Super Spy Beatle story collection and is the alternate telling of the movie 'Help!' The movie belongs to Apple Corp. and I'm only doing it for fun, not for money. This story takes place after 'Day of the Dead Beatles' but can be read as its own separate piece. This will also include a deleted scene not shown in the movie as to help connect to some other stuff.
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Chapter 2-Five attempts, four attempts, three, two one...

The next destination for the Beatles was at Bass CLEF Headquarters. They let themselves in, hearing gunshots echo through the front office.

"Well, at least we know where they are." said John. "Now to figure out what to do against those cultists."

"Why not bake them pies and give them a spot of tea?" asked Paul.

"Or we give them chocolate and vodka." George suggested.

"How about telling them how to get this damn ring off of me finger." said Ringo. "I wonder what they're doing right now..."

"They're either polishing their skills, or there's a bull's-eye contest..." said John.

"Ooh! I wanna see this!" said George. "Let's go!"

The four began to run toward the weapons gallery, hoping to see what would be an incredible match.

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"I haven't had this much fun in weeks."

"Well, you need it! You're getting your gun license renewed in a couple of days. Besides, we haven't challenged each other to a bull's-eye contest for a while..."

"And the targets seem like they're having a good time."

Sadie smiled as she began loading more bullets to the chamber of her pistol. To her left, Lovely Rita wasn't breaking a sweat as she hit one of the targets. Many of the employees of CLEF were keeping track at the accuracy at the targets. The targets themselves were two innocent agents with bull's-eyes strapped on their foreheads, hearts, hands, and knees. They were pinned to the wall as bullets continued to hit them.

"Ten seconds left!" announced Lady Madonna. "Nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two..."

"RITA!"

Rita flinched as the last bullet hit the stomach of the young agent. A buzzer blared as Rita turned to see the Beatles entered. She was very livid, loading her pistol with rubber bullets.

"This had better be important." said Rita. "I'm busy with something..."

"It's sort of important." John explained. "You see...Agent Starr has a ring stuck on his finger."

"Wasn't that going to be a given?" asked Sadie.

"No, this ring is bringing in danger." said George. "These filthy Easterners were going to cut Ringo's finger off for the ring."

"Well they might be that obsessed with you guys!" said Sadie. "You're probably just imagining things."

"And what if we aren't?" asked Paul.

"Then just be on your guard." Rita answered, placing her gun into her bag. "Now if you excuse me, you're interrupting a very important test."

"You mean the test to see if someone can survive five minutes of you and Sexy Sadie firing guns at the appropriate targets?" asked John.

"Of course not, silly!" said Sadie. "We're going to see how they can endure one minute of rubber bullets without safety gear!"

The newbie agents gulped as their equipment was thrown onto the ground. They gulped as Rita and Sadie pointed their guns at the two.

"Let's leave guys," said John. "We don't wanna be in this situation again..."

A whistle was blown as Sadie and Rita returned to filling their guns with rubber bullets. The Beatles left just in time to hear screams of pain echo across the headquarters.

"Do they even get work done here?" asked John. He only received a shrug of the shoulders in reply.

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Sure enough, the Beatles were ambushed five different times in the following two weeks. It was getting annoying to say the least.

Attempt #1

Ringo and John were in the elevator, waiting to meet up with Paul and George at the recording station.

"So what was it that first attracted you to me?" asked the eldest Beatle.

"Well, you're very polite, aren't you?" John answered back.

Suddenly, the walls of the elevator became magnetized! John's chain and keys flew to the walls as Ringo levitated to the ceiling. His rings were stuck as Ringo tried his hardest to get down...John was laughing at his exploits all the same.

Seconds later, the magnetizing affect vanished, and Ringo dropped down safely. The elevator doors opened as John collected his metallic trinkets and met up with the other Beatles.

Attempt #2

Days after the elevator incident, John and Ringo were outside, off to deliver some post to Ringo's mum. John was quoting some poetry that he wrote while Ringo was trying to sing. The two approached the red post box while Ringo slipped his hand to deliver the letter...

Unfortunately, someone was trying to grab his hand yet again.

"Ow!" Ringo cried, tugging his hand. "Ow!"

"What are you doing?" asked John.

"Posting a letter..." Ringo answered, giving his hand one final pull. It freed his hand as the two walked off. The red post box soon walked off without a trace.

Attempt #3

Ringo was off with a sandwich in hand and saw something by the sidewalk. It was a fortune vendor, tempting him to get his fortune.

What harm could it do to me? Thought the drummer. He inserted a coin into the coin slot and waited for the fortune to appear...he inched his hands toward the receiving end...

Only for a small guillotine blade to descend.

Ringo immediately flew from the place.

Attempt #4

Ringo and Paul were getting themselves groomed and ready for another day of recording. Paul began to sing a few warm up notes while Ringo echoed in return. The drummer finished drying his hands and stepped on the pedal that would make the dryer turn on.

The dryer turned on with a whir, but sucked Ringo's left hand! The drummer pulled away, just as his sleeve was torn from his suit.

"What the hell?!" Paul exclaimed, trying to pull Ringo away from the renegade dryer. One of the sleeves pulled from the seams as the two tried to grab onto the sinks.

"For the love of—glub!" Paul exclaimed when one of the sinks fell. Water sprayed into his mouth as George and John entered the bathroom. With one step, George's shirt was torn and sucked into the dryer.

George and John tried their hardest to hang onto Ringo. John pulled out his pistol and aimed it at the dryer. Three shots were fired and hit the dryer with remarkable aim. It sputtered and died out, just as the Beatles sat down, soaked and exhausted.

"My skin's soaked right through the skin." Paul exclaimed.

"There's more here than meets the eye." Ringo noted.

"Ho ho!" George laughed.

"Ho." John joined in.

"Ho ho!"

"Ho!"

"Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!"

"Ho!

"Ho!

"Ho Ho!

Paul threw a pipe at John's head, silencing the laughter.

Attempt #5

The day after the bathroom escapades, the four were in the recording studio. Brian was off for some sort of game show appearance, so Norm was taking his place.

"Take 1, 'You're Gonna Lose that Girl'." He announced. "And no funny business, Lennon.

"All right...1...2..."

You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

If you don't take her out tonight,
She's gonna change her mind,
(She's gonna change her mind)
And I will take her out tonight,
And I will treat her kind.
(I'm gonna treat her kind)

You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

If you don't treat her right, my friend,
You're gonna find her gone,
(You're gonna find her gone)
'cause I will treat her right, and then
You'll be the lonely one.
(You're not the only one)

You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

I'll make a point
Of taking her away from you, yeah,
(watch what you do)
The way you treat her what else can I do?

Unbeknown to the Beatles, there was work being done underground. They ignored it as they sang to the microphones, played their instruments and smiled. They hadn't had a time to record songs due to their spy life...right now, they were enjoying their time being the Beatles.

>You're gonna lose that girl,
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

I'll make a point
Of taking her away from you, yeah,
(watch what you do)
The way you treat her what else can I do?

If you don't take her out tonight,
She's going to change her mind,
(She's gonna change her mind)
And I will take her out tonight,
And I will treat her kind.
(I'm gonna treat her kind)

You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl.
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)
You're gonna lose that girl
(Yes, Yes, You're gonna lose that girl)

The Beatles finished the recording as Norm noticed something weird.

"Boys, are any of you buzzing?" He asked.

"No thanks, I have the car." John noted.

"No, no, no! Listen...I'll have to play it back. You'll have to do the song all over again."

Norm rewound the track and began to play the chorus. Ringo began to clap and the others danced a bit as the sound of buzzing blended with the the Beatle harmonies. Circling Ringo was a saw buzzing and cutting a hole.

"Is that you buzzing?" John asked Paul.

"It's not me." said Paul.

"Don't look at me." George said with his arms in the air.

There was the sound of creaking as Ringo and his drums fell to the floor with a crash. Norm stopped the recording as John, Paul and George noted what was happening. Ringo was surrounded by at least six Eastern cultists!

"It was you buzzing, you naughty boy you." John commented.

Klang pulled the cord on the chain saw. Ringo tried to scream for help, but he was pinned by three of the cultists. One covered his mouth, the others latched onto his arms and legs. Klang inched closer and closer.

"I'll save you Ringo!" said George, pulling out a small bottle of vodka. "I'll..."

"No," John whispered, pointing to Ahme. "Look..."

Ahme threw a silver disc at Klang. The cult leader turned, the chainsaw slicing through the pants of one of the attackers. They fell in a huge heap as Ringo began to follow Ahme out of the situation.

Ringo locked the door and followed Ahme.

"Flee!" She exclaimed.

"Who are you?" asked the drummer.

"Flee!" Ahme repeated.

"Will you explain yourself when the opportunity arises?"

"Please flee!"

"Okay."

Ringo rushed down the hall back to the studio as Ahme ran back to the canteen. It was at the point where things were becoming serious.

"Well, who's up for lunch break?" asked John to his fellow Beatles. "I know this lovely Indian restaurant where they serve a nice curry."